There are lots of reasons people don’t come to church. Some are legitimate reasons and some are simply excuses. Here are 10 of the top excuses and ways to respond.
10. I go to brunch on Sundays.
(Here is a list of local restaurants that serve Sunday brunch until 3 p.m.)
9. Church is full of hypocrites.
(And we always have room for one more!)
8. I’m against organized religion.
(Perfect! We’re highly disorganized.)
7. Church people hate women/gays/divorced people/ethnic groups/interracial couples/insert group here
(Um, no. We don’t. Can we introduce you to our female pastor and our church board made up of old, young, gay, straight, single, married, divorced, insert group here?)
6. I don’t believe in God.
(That’s okay. God still believes in you.)
5. Church people are so judgmental.
(Trust us, with everything we’ve done, we really can’t be throwing stones.)
4. I’m just not being fed
(That’s okay. We’re not here to feed you, but to equip you to feed.)
3. Ten years ago someone at some church somewhere was really awful to me.
(That is really crummy. Give us a chance to make that up to you.)
2. I feel like I need to get right with God before I can come to church
(Ain’t gonna happen, so you might as well come on.)
1. Churches just want my money
(Actually, we just want you to know that all that you have and all that you are comes from God and encourage you to respond accordingly. The church can survive without your money, but you will be more likely to thrive if you’re willing to share it with others.)
In an effort to cover all excuses, one pastor (not sure who or where) came up with this solution.
NO EXCUSE SUNDAY: DEDICATED TO MISSING CHURCH ATTENDEES!
To make it possible for everyone to attend church this Sunday, we are going to have a special “No Excuse Sunday”: Cots will be placed in the foyer for those who say, “Sunday is my only day to sleep in.” There will be a special section with lounge chairs for those who feel that our pews are too hard. Eye drops will be available for those with tired eyes from watching TV late Saturday night. We will have steel helmets for those who say, “The roof would cave in if I ever came to church.” Blankets will be furnished for those who think the church is too cold, and fans for those who say it is too hot. Scorecards will be available for those who wish to list the hypocrites present. Relatives and friends will be in attendance for those who can’t go to church and cook dinner, too. We will distribute “Stamp Out Stewardship” buttons for those that feel the church is always asking for money. One section will be devoted to trees and grass for those who like to seek God in nature. Doctors and nurses will be in attendance for those who plan to be sick on Sunday. The sanctuary will be decorated with both Christmas poinsettias and Easter lilies for those who never have seen the church without them. We will provide hearing aids for those who can’t hear the preacher and cotton wool for those who think he’s too loud! Hope to see you there!